Little Love has always needed extra medical attention and while at the children’s home, she had a specific caregiver. A privilege (read fundamental right), that most babies are denied at understaffed children’s homes. And Mae (Thai for mother) Noi was a crucial part of nurturing her through sickness and health, caring for Little Love before us. It has been six months since our Little Love moved in with us. ‘Home’ may have moved since, but Mae Noi will always be one of hers. Mae Noi is a very special part of her life, and now ours too, and will always be a treasured memory we hope to preserve for her. 

This week we celebrated our first (Thai) Mother’s Day together. Leading up to the day, I found myself thinking about the mothers that have been a part of her life, including Mae Noi. Since she lives in our city, I knew we had to acknowledge Mae Noi whose love and care made a lasting difference in Little Love’s life.

In traditional Thai culture, children give their mothers a garland made of jasmine flowers on Mother’s Day. Dok Mali, as we call it in Thai, has a sweet fragrance and is a symbol of respect, love, and gratitude. In the simplest way, we honored Mae Noi with a jasmine garland, and a photo of Little Love surrounded by her family now. The fragile baby that she once cradled in her arms now walked up to her with dok mali, bowing to say thank you. This small gesture at home was just as tender as it was profound, moving us grown-ups to tears.

Love matters. Relationships matter. Time together matters. How can we ever possibly help her understand these truths without helping her preserve relationships that are safe, nurturing and consistent?

As we raise our Little Love, we honor every part of her culture, life story and the people who have been a part of it- including Mae Noi. Every moment leading up to today counts whether they may not be part of her daily life now. There will always be a special place in our hearts for all her families, whatever that may have looked like – both before and after us.

Every part of Little Love’s story deserves to be acknowledged, and the safe parts must be preserved. So today, we hold onto as many sacred pieces as we can. As she grows, she may want to gather some of them up to piece together her own life story- using them to discover more of herself or find her place in the world. And why wouldn’t we want to? 

In our not-so-little, blended family, we hold on to the belief that love shared is not subtracted; it is multiplied.

No matter how much you give, it never runs out. Instead, you always end up with more than you began with. Trust me, I’ve tried!

Besides, a child can never have too many people that love them.