Disappointment (noun): the feeling of sadness caused by the defeat of one’s hopes or expectations.
We may not have the same disappointments, but we both have them. Last June, my blog was wiped clean. I found copies to most of them, but I lost two. One was a love letter to my husband, and the other, was about our wedding day with our vows! If there was any possibility to restore only two, I would pick these! I felt like I lost a part of me that I trusted these pages to preserve forever. I don’t think I could ever do justice to rewriting them and it broke my heart. I lost motivation to write. I lost hope.
Grieve (verb): an emotional response to intense sadness caused by a loss.
As a writer, I questioned the point of writing and sharing my heart and life. As a soul, I grieved over losing precious memoirs of the most incredible person in my life and the magical day I got to marry him. It’s been fourteen months since I quit writing and the disappointment is still awfully raw and real.
I’d like to claim that time does not heal. Time can instead make you bitter, if you let it. I believe that time simply gives us the space we need, to let go. And that is where we may find healing.
Letting go (verb): deciding to permit life to carry you to a new place.
It is 1:29am.
I can’t sit around and wait for my disappointment to magically fade away before I write again. Quitting did not help. Writing brings me joy. It’s a little beyond senseless, to give up writing over one technical glitch then, don’t you think? I have grieved enough.
When it comes to dealing with disappointment, I believe we are entitled to take all the time we need in the world. But after that, sometimes we just need to force ourselves back on to our feet, no matter how hard it is.
Here’s what I’m rooting for today. Don’t let your disappointment define you. Don’t let it steal from you what you know brings you joy. Don’t give it that power over you. Face your disappointments and then, intentionally work towards moving past them. Don’t let yesterday’s disappointment defeat tomorrow’s dream.
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.” -Isaiah 43:18
Note to self: I don’t quit. Ever.